Today has been a day. A. Day. A day with sensory processing disorder. A day of wanting to crawl out of my own frickin’ skin. A day of in a mood, frustrated with a body that doesn’t want to cooperate. A day of the weather pattern is shifting and every part of my body is screaming about it. A day where every time I make incidental contact with a dog I want to scream “Get out of my way! Don’t touch me!” A day where I can’t freaking figure out where my own body is in space.
A day where I shouldn’t have trained. Because on such days I need the dogs to be certain ways, and my ability to actually train when they aren’t is not there.
But we tried to train a couple of sessions. We attempted some agility and some herding practice. And in each, I gave up. And we turned to fun, easy, no brainer stuff that I don’t care about how she performs it.
Because I got tired of running myself into posts. And falling over hoops. Because I got tired of colliding with my dog. Who was being perfect on path, and I lost track of my own path. Because I got tired of my inability to clearly know what the hell I wanted and therefore impossible to communicate anything clearly or well to my dog. Because I got tired of realizing the incidental dog contact was really Tom trying to keep me from walking into yet another thing.
Because I decided to just get out of my own way and finally listen to Tom. Who’s been telling me to chill out, sit down, stop trying to force what doesn’t want to be today and just pet him. That dog is so very smart. I really should listen to him more often.